Frequently Asked Questions
Answers provided with complete corporate transparency.
Questions not listed here have been classified by our legal department.
Is Icarus Airlines safe?
Icarus Airlines is Boldly Operational. Our commitment to safety is exceeded only by our commitment to shareholder value. Please consult our Corporate Glossary for the precise definition of Boldly Operational.
Why do your wings look like they're held together with wax?
That's a proprietary organic bonding compound developed and refined over three millennia of aerospace innovation. Its performance is reviewed quarterly through our Thermal Tolerance Redefinition process.
What is your on-time arrival rate?
We arrive exactly when the laws of physics allow. Flights that conclude outside the standard arrival window are reclassified under Legacy Arrival Designation, which is measured separately.
Do you offer travel insurance?
Our Pre-Boarding Risk Acknowledgement functions as a comprehensive waiver of all claims. It is not insurance. It is the opposite of insurance, offered at no additional cost.
What happens if the wings melt?
A Thermal Excursion Event triggers our standard Controlled Altitude Reduction protocol. Our cabin crew is trained to guide passengers through the descent. Complimentary beverages are served throughout.
Can I get a refund?
Refunds are available for flights that land at the originally intended destination. For flights concluding under other designations, a Survivor's Rebooking Credit is automatically issued, valid on future Icarus Airlines flights only.
What does 'Rapid Unscheduled Disassembly' mean on your Safety Record page?
Rapid Unscheduled Disassembly is a structural event in which the aircraft occupies multiple locations simultaneously. It is classified under Atmospheric Reentry Events per OAA §4.7. Our rate is 0.00% on flights that did not experience Rapid Unscheduled Disassembly.
Who regulates Icarus Airlines?
We operate under the oversight of the Olympian Aviation Authority (OAA), which we founded, fund, and staff. OAA independence is maintained through rigorous internal firewalls. Audits pending.